Alison Stone

More than words…and wilted flowers

Alison Stone — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:09:57 +0000

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been partial to gifts like chocolates or flowers. Maybe it stems from my high school days when on Valentine’s Day flowers would be delivered to the school and the names of the recipients would be announced at lunch. Bummer for all the girls who never got a flower. I’m not naming names or anything.

To this day, I prefer more practical gifts.

Nothing makes me feel the love more than when my hubby fills up the gas tank. Ah, another couple hundred miles before I have to stand in the freezing cold, hair whipping around my head, while I watch the numbers climb higher…and higher.
Dinner. No, I’m not talking about a fancy dinner out. I’m talking about dinner at home. Any dinner. It could be fish sticks and corn or steak on the grill. Any day I don’t have to think about and prepare dinner is a day I feel the love.
I love when my hubby volunteers to pick up one of the kids when I was supposed to do it. I might be huddled under a blanket reading a book or writing, but there’s nothing sweeter than my hubby saying, “You stay home, I’ll get them.” Ah….
My favorite gifts from my kids are handwritten notes and drawings telling me how much they love me. I am going to save them and pull them out when they are teens and remind them that yes, I was once “The World’s Best Mother.”

So, are you a flowers and chocolate kind of person? Or do you like more practical gifts? Either way, I hope everyone felt loved on Valentine’s Day.

That Little Voice Inside Your Head

Alison Stone — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:34:27 +0000

Last week I was watching the Today Show and they featured a well-spoken young woman who made a terrible decision. Anna Beninati, a college student, decided to hop a train. According to the interview, it was something she and her friends had done many times before. But this night as she was running, a little voice went off in her head. Anna said, “I had one last fleeting thought of I shouldn’t be doing this. But it was like by then it was too late. I was running so fast, reaching for the train. So I just went.”

So Anna jumped and the consequences were tragic. “I remember looking down at my leg dragging on the ground, looking at the wheel and how fast they were going. I remember looking down there and thinking, oh, my God, what have I done?”

I’ve been thinking a lot about this remarkable woman since I saw the interview. The accident–which happened in September–left her a double amputee, yet she seems to be moving forward with optimism and a tremendous energy. I wish her well.

I’ve been thinking about her message. Near the end of the interview, she told Ann Curry:

I had a clear feeling for several minutes before I even ran for the train just thinking, you know, something tells me I’m not going to get on that train. Something tells me this is going to go badly. This is not a good idea. I don’t feel right about it. I figured, I’m a teenager. I’m just being stupid. I can do this. I went for it anyway. I’m paying for it…

…Follow your gut. If you get that feeling something’s not right no matter what the situation is, you’re walking home by yourself at night, you’re about to text and drive, get behind the wheel of a car and you have had alcohol, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

I’ve been thinking about that little voice inside my head. Oh, I know I have one. Actually, it rarely shuts up. By nature I’m a worrier so I tend to over think most thinks. One particular incident comes to mind. It wasn’t exactly a warning, but perhaps a premonition of sorts. Isn’t that what Anna felt? A premonition that this wasn’t going to go well. One night when I was newly married, I was out with my husband and I had a really bad feeling something was going to happen to my family and I wondered how my parents would be able to deal with it. Maybe the thought entered my mind because the roads were icy that night. I don’t know. But the next morning, I received a phone call from my mom that my sister had fallen ill. That was the first day of a very long journey through cancer.

My other sister is very big on dreams. Are they another subconscious voice in our head? She called me once and said she had a dream that I was pregnant and expecting a girl. Later that day, I took a pregnancy test. Yep, I was pregnant with my third child (and my first daughter). I suppose you could dismiss the dream. I was just starting my family so it wasn’t a big leap for my sister to have a dream about me being pregnant. Or is there something more at work here?

What about the young Australian woman who bungee jumped from the bridge in Africa only to have the cord snap and drop her into the Zambezi River ? Did a little voice whisper in her head, “This isn’t such a good idea.” Did another voice argue, “But you’ve come this far. If you back out now…”

The idea of this fascinates me. Is this little voice a survival mechanism? Or are they just obvious last minute thoughts of someone about to do something very dangerous? Do cautious people listen to it more?

Do you have a little voice in your head? Have you ever changed a course of action because of that voice or a bad feeling? I’d love to hear about it.

I hope my kids pay attention to that little voice, it may serve them well. If not, I hope they hear mine: “Do you really think that’s such a good idea?”

Sweet Sixteen

Alison Stone — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 16:04:58 +0000

Today my “little man” turns sixteen. It’s really hard to imagine. I remember turning sixteen. I still have the Sweet Sixteen charm my parents gave me, but I think I’ll save it for one of my daughters. Sixteen is one of those birthday milestones. Soon, he’ll be asking for the keys to my car. And in a blink of an eye, he’ll be headed off to college.

When I first brought my little man home, I thought I’d never sleep again.And I love sleep. I thought the days of watching him–and later his siblings–play in the yard would fill my days forever. One by one, they got older, headed off to school, and no longer needed me to supervisor their play. Soon time became my own again. Time I now use to write.

Sometimes I look back at the photos of my lovable little son and wonder if I took enough time to simply enjoy the moment. It’s very easy to get swept up in the day-to-day activities of being a mom. But overall, yes, I do believe I cherished many of the moments ~ as fleeting as they were. I can recall many of them with clarity. Others I recorded in a journal. Kids say the darndest things, right? Every so often I pull out the journal and read entries to my kids. The day–the exact moment–they said something, comes floating back. I can see him in his feet PJs asking me if I meant to give him WARM medicine for his cough. (Certainly I wouldn’t intend to give him COLD medicine.) I can see my little man sitting at Olive Garden, olives tipping each of his fingers before he popped them into his mouth.

Sometimes I just look at my sixteen year old and wonder where the time went. When did he get taller than me? When did he start to shave? I am so grateful that we are all happy and healthy and here to celebrate another birthday. Happy Sweet Sixteen. May you have many, many more.

I love this photo of my little man ~ back when he let me dress him.

How did I get here?

Alison Stone — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 02:44:48 +0000

I’ve always been a planner.

When I was in high school, I planned my future. Since I enjoyed math and science, but lacked the stomach to deal with blood and other icky bodily fluids, I scratched physician from my list of career opportunities and decided to become an engineer. In one college application essay, I wrote that I wanted to work in a factory as a manufacturing engineer. (How did I even know that?) Flash-forward a few years-degree in hand-I was hired as a manufacturing engineer for an automotive supplier. I envisioned the dream, I wrote about it, and I achieved it.

But it was the wrong dream.

I enjoyed problem solving and my co-workers, but I never felt passion for my job. I never got excited about fin damage on condensers. I remember looking around the conference room at a bunch of men (yes, I worked with mostly men) and wondering how in the world they did this day in and day out without going insane. Seriously? Getting excited over damaged parts coming off the line? Yes, I got it. Damaged parts equaled lost money and potentially shutting down an automotive plant. And you never wanted to do that. As a new twenty-something engineer, I felt the life force draining out of me.

Meanwhile, I was checking off my personal goals. I met a wonderful man (a fellow engineer) and we married. And we started a family, just as we planned. I consider myself beyond blessed when it comes to my family. And it was my family that allowed me to follow a new budding dream.

Shortly after having child #1, I saw an advertisement in a women’s magazine about writing children’s books. How many of you know the ad? Anyway, it sparked an idea that I imagine was somewhere deep down. Could I actually write children’s books? The short answer: no. But I started writing. Before long I had success selling articles to local and national publications.

When our family expanded, I decided to become a full-time mom and leave the plant behind. By then the writing bug had taken hold.

I did some research. Remember I’m a planner? I discovered romance novels comprised a large percentage of the fiction market. So I began to read romances across all genres and books about craft. And finally I put pen to paper.

Flash-forward to now…I have achieved a new dream. I sold 2 romantic suspense manuscripts to Samhain Publishing this summer.

The subjectivity and flux in the world of publishing plays havoc on the planner in me, but I’m learning…

And most importantly, I’m excited about each day. I wake up and get to look out my home office at this wonderful view. I look forward to the future and achieving new goals.

And it all started out with a plan.

I just didn’t know I’d get here from there.